The rantings of a 23-year old geek with a Jeep.
Biology teacher dreaming of running away to the city and never looking back. A (bitter) Glee blogger and Klaine shipper. Kittens. Community. Doctor Who. Chuck. Harry Potter. StarKid. Game of Thrones. But mostly about Glee and kittens.
Currently binge-watching: Supernatural

Not a spoiler-free blog.

Anonymous asked: so i totally just //devoured// all your three sentence fic thingys and i saw your klaine chuck one and im in love, but the title got me thinking sooooo... klaine skyfall au? lol, sorry, that was awkward, i just reallyreallyreally love your writing uwu

So, first of all, you are the sweetest thing ever, Anon, and I’m so sorry for the delay. <3
Two: confession time — I have never seen Skyfall (or any Bond movie, for that matter), so I hope spy!Klaine works okay? I have so much headcanon for this AU. Someone should prompt me for more or ask about the headcanon or something.

He’d thought he was done — he’d finished up his most recent touring show, turned in his badge, and figured that was that; after all, he was nearing thirty and he’d devoted a good half of his life to the United States government, so Kurt figured he and Blaine more than deserved a real, non-spy-related trip out of the country to belatedly celebrate their marriage (Blaine had, of course, been completely down for the idea; roleplaying world-renowned spy and rescued civilian got old quickly when the spying was real and involved no small amount of danger).

He certainly hadn’t expected to end up in a shootout on a train on their way to the Swiss Alps, and yet here he was pretending he hadn’t missed the excitement as he hide from a spray of bullets behind a metal food cart and fought to retrieve his gun from his (very tight) boots, all the while praying that he’d at least taught Blaine enough to know the barrel from the butt of his own unused gun, “Okay, B, here’s the plan; we’re going to fight our way through two train cars to the storage area where they’re keeping this stupid missile, hand these guys to Interpol, and then we’re going to go back to our room and have the hottest honeymoon sex ever.”

Blaine nodded, eyes bright and wild as he fumbled with the safety on his gun, “You’re so hot when you talk spy.” and damn if that didn’t make Kurt the luckiest guy in the world.

——-

1) Give me a pairing. 2) Give me an AU setting. 3) I will write you a three-sentence fic.

klaineitupanotch asked: Klaine in the Game of Thrones Verse: have at it! There's so many ways to go! >3

For those of you familiar with Game of Thrones, picture this as set after episode 4.08 (The Mountain and The Viper). If you’re not familiar with GoT, think medieval-ish world where homosexual relationships are mostly not tolerated.

The ways of the rest of Westeros seemed so odd to Blaine that he should be forced to creep through the gardens of the Red Keep after dark like a criminal; creeping was for Spiders and their little birds, hiding in the shadows and gathering secrets like flies in a web, and not two men of high standing who just wanted to love in peace — he was a Sand, bastard son of the Martells in a land where such a title could be seen as a thing of pride and not the pitiful existence the rest of Westeros made it out to be, and Kurt a younger Tyrell and cousin of to the queen-to-be — and they were doing nothing worthy of shame.

And yet, to turn a corner into one of the garden’s many hidden alcoves and find Kurt surrounded by vibrant roses in red and yellow the likes of which could only exist in the Red Keep and dressed in the stunning green and gold of Highgarden, there was no doubt in Blaine’s mind that what they had could never survive as long as they lingered here in King’s Landing; they deserved better than hiding their relationship away in a place that refused to see sexuality as flexible and amongst people who believed the two of them should continue their houses’ war, and that’s the realization that cements the decision for Blaine as he reaches forward to grasp Kurt’s hands in his, because they need this if they are meant to be, “We flee for Sunspear at first sun, and I would beg of you to come with me; I know you aren’t happy as long as you remain in this place, but you could run with us and we could be free there.”

He can feel Kurt’s hands quivering in his, but the look in his eyes (as blue as the sun over the Dornish desert, he’d said the first day they’d met and earned the most beautiful blush blooming across Kurt’s freckled cheeks in response) is love tempered with determination — the look of a young man who has experienced too many hardships in an intolerant land during his short twenty years of life, and he nods, the corners of his lips twitching upward and hinting at a smile as he whispers “I want to be free; I will pack my bags and we can be halfway across the Red Mountains before they even realize I am missing.” and it’s all that Blaine could ever ask for.

_____

1) Give me a pairing. 2) Give me an AU setting. 3) I will write you a three-sentence fic.

gawkydoteficus asked: Klaine, Community AU

Note: This one should almost be worthy of a full drabble, to be honest. For those of you not familiar with Community, it’s a show set at fail-y Greendale Community College and focuses on a group of 7 students who make up a study group. One set of episodes revolve around a documentary-style pillow battle between the members of the study group that ends up involving the whole school. [“Pillows and Blankets” Wiki page]

Blaine realizes he’s not quite sure how he managed to get caught up in whatever this is as he’s hit in the side of the head by a pillow that has him seeing spots and the floor rushing up to meet him (he should have believed the rumors in The United Forts of Pillowtown that someone from The Legit Republic of Blanketsburg was illegally putting textbooks in their pillow for maximum damage); he’d signed up for a few classes at Greendale Community College with the intention of being able to graduate high school as a junior, and not, well, to participate an all-out pillow fight war caused by an ill-timed pillow throw from the creepy guy with the star-shaped sideburns that successfully knocked down part of Blanketsburg’s fort and caused the divide of the study group that unofficially ruled the school.

When he wakes up, he’s in the hospital zone, crammed onto an uncomfortable blanket-covered futon with a boy who looks like he’s near tears standing over him with a blanket wrapped around his head that signifies him as part of The Legit Republic of Blanketsburg and a pillow grasped tightly in his hands as he rambles, “I’m so, so sorry; Garrett just handed me a pillow and I didn’t think he was actually hiding textbooks in them and I feel awful and I don’t even know how this happened — I just wanted to earn a few credits before college and I was supposed to be home yesterday!”

And, maybe it’s the concussion talking, but the boy who sits down on the edge of his futon “hospital bed” and introduces himself as Kurt might just be the most attractive man he has ever seen — even though he’s, technically, still the enemy — and Blaine knows he’s going to ask him out on a date as far away from this hellhole as possible just as soon as this school and its incompetent staff can get their shit together and stop their adult students (seriously, some of these people are bordering on elderly and it’s kind of embarrassing) from destroying the place over a pillow fight.

Anonymous asked: okay um for the prompt thingy: klaine + switched luggage at the airport

In Kurt’s defense, it had been a very long day of travel; he’d been crammed into the window seat beside a woman and her miserable toddler for the flight from LaGuardia to Chicago (the beast had thrown a handful of Cheerios at his head mid-flight and he still wasn’t sure if he’d gotten all of the crumbs out of his hair), and then the man next to him for the flight from Chicago to Toledo had insisted on sitting there and snorting every thirty seconds for the entire hour they were on the plane and, really, how was he supposed to know that someone else would just so happen to own an awful salmon pink suitcase identical to his own when he had picked the atrocious thing out particularly so that he wouldn’t run into this problem?

He’s nearly out of the airport, eager to be out of here and in his family’s house in Lima with his old bed and a shower with water pressure he’d never thought to miss until he’d moved to the city and memories that aren’t quite so raw around the edges now that a few Christmases have passed, when something starts making noise behind him, the sound of rubber soles sliding against the floor and suitcase wheels clacking obnoxiously against the tile, “Wait, wait, please wait; you have my suitcase!” and then a man about his own age is skidding to a stop beside him with his curly black hair starting to fight free from its gel and his bow tie adorably askew and looking for all the world like someone who has just suffered an equally as miserable day of travel as Kurt himself has.

The man, who introduces himself as Blaine, mumbles something about sparing Kurt from seeing the contents of his luggage (and god does Kurt appreciate the horror when he stops to think about it later once he’s at home in bed) as they swap suitcases and go their separate ways with muttered apologies, and that really should be the end of it; and it is, until Kurt very nearly manages to pour an entire cup of coffee down Blaine’s shirt when they quite literally run into each other at the Lima Bean two days later on Christmas Eve and, really, Kurt figures he owes the guy a drink by this point (and if that turns into coffee and dinner followed by a few casual dates in Lima and then not-so-casual dates in New York, well, he supposes there are worse things than a salmon-coloured suitcase).

I’ll be damned if the first thing Kurt and Blaine don’t rechristen after Blaine moves back into the loft is his new workspace.

While Rachel has to haul ass out of the apartment when she realizes that her presence isn’t going to stop them from going past some serious groping.

Matt Hodgson and Brad Falchuk managed to create an episode that was beautiful for Klaine and nothing makes sense in the world but it’s all so perfect anyway

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Also, I demand a group high five for all of us who were stubbornly on team “Klaine don’t break up in the season finale” a few weeks back

Glee let Kurt and Blaine make up and kiss and talk about sex and then sing a duet together to stick it to the people who hate them and then Blaine moved back into the loft and all was good in my world thank you and goodbye

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That performance was everything because Blaine used it as a giant “fuck you” to June and as a way to show his love to Kurt and then they won June over with the power of love and music and goddamn Glee you cheesy but sometimes pretty alright

Now let’s have the episode end there before the writers can fuck it up again pls